Monday, October 21, 2013

I Am Not A Victim, I'm A Visionary, Dreamer, An Achiever.

Trials. They suck, right?  Hard times.  Well, hello, they are called 'hard times', they are not meant to be fun.  Unfairness, hurt, cruelty....life can deal a plethora of awful moments to us.  And we can be victims.  For a while.  But we don't have to stay that way.  In fact, it's my opinion, that if we DO, we are harming ourselves...and that cruelty that was handed to us, wins.  Those hard times?  They beat us.  That trial?  It's still got you pinned.

I have had my share of negativity in my life.  I don't really think that any of it was particularly awful or tragic...to me it was, but in the big scheme of things, I know people that I consider to have gone through much worse.  But, I can say, that my trials had me pinned.  They were awful, and being a victim?  I totally got used to it.  I made excuses for my behavior....more importantly, I made excuses for a behavior that rationalized me not getting better.  Not pushing through.

Here is what I have to say about this subject, and I'll keep it brief.  There is a time to be a victim.  The initial shock of a trial...the hard time, the cruelty of others...it's a harsh world, and to just be stoic about it is a little unrealistic.  But if you STAY a victim, the harsh world wins...not you.  So, here is a formula that I am finding works better and better each time that I notice myself slipping into that mindset:

1.  Pray.  Pray and cry out to God.  He is the ultimate comforter, and he will give you the strength that you need.

2. Invest in yourself...read a solid personal development book, or listen to one in your car on your way to work...I can't even begin to say how much this has helped me.

3.  Tell someone IMMEDIATELY.  Don't wait a month feeling a pit in your stomach, and keeping these thoughts to yourself.  Talk to someone that loves you, and you trust them.

4. This last one is tough, but it's necessary...if the trial you are experiencing is a direct result of someone's cruelty, get them out of your life.  asap.  Do it in whatever way is most comfortable to you, but having boundaries with cruel people not only helps you, but believe it or not, it may help them down the road.  But, your main concern is YOU.  This was (and is) a hard lesson for me....but the more I avoid unnecessary drama and negativity, the more I can give to others in the way that I want, feel healthier, and improve on my own personal goals.

That's it.  That's my mantra for today.  I don't really know what spurred it on, but these thoughts were rolling around in my head, and I had to get them out.  I hope that it helps you...I can't tell you how much it has helped me!
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