Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Waiting: Five Tips on Being Patient from a Very Impatient Person

Hey Everyone!

So, I gotta just tell you, this week has been particularly tough.  I'm entering into my fourth week post cancellation of my IVF cycle, and, without getting too personal, I've got to tell you that this next cycle has me a little nerved up.  They found out about a few things with me that they are concerned about, and, I'm also waiting on a few things to happen in my own body, and well...they just aren't happening.

Needless to say, it's a bit maddening.

Doesn't my body know how much we want this sweet babe?
Doesn't my body realize that I want this babe to come before my husband deploys again?
Can't my body just act a little normal post all the hormones I just pumped into it?

Well, I'm no mind reader, but, despite reasoning and even pleading with this body, it's just plugging along doing the basics for me of keeping me alive.  Which, for 31 years has been all well and good, but come on, I haven't asked for much, I feel like I've even been easy on you!  I mean, sure, I've eaten my share of Taco Bell, but, I've never smoked, drinking has been at a minimum, and I keep you healthy with exercising.  I'm holding up my end!  Your turn.

So far, none of these tactics are working, except making me sound (and act) a little crazy.  So, while my body figures out what it wants to do, because clearly, there's no negotiating, I've decided to practice a few tips that I know dang well they work, but, I'll be honest, I'm not too great at them.

Ahem, here are my five tips on practicing patience:

1. Realize that you can't control ANYTHING:  I once had a wonderful friend tell me that 'military life just takes away the false sense that we had control over anything to begin with.'  I would say that IVF works about the same way.   You can schedule appointments, have wonderful, competent doctors, be given the very best prognosis, do everything that you're told to do, and in the end your body can just disagree with all that and do it's own thing.  I can't control my fertility, anymore than I can control my husband's insane schedule.  Sometimes, letting go, and ultimately, realizing that there's nothing to hang on to anyway is one way to stop the madness.

2. Do Something Productive: I have this terrible habit of saying, 'I don't know what to do, I don't know what to DO!', and then I play Candy Crush.  What?!  Not cool.  What I have really been working on is when I feel helpless, or, I know it's just a matter of waiting, I do something productive, like, post a blog on impatience for example ;)  Working out also really helps me let out that tension that I'm feeling.  It's not good enough to get your mind OFF of what it is that you're impatient about, but, doing something that's good for you is the next step in that process.

3. Talk to a Trusted Friend: Sometimes, you've just got to get it OUT.  Get that elephant off your chest!  Tell someone what you're struggling with.  That you're frustrated.  That it's not fair.  That you  just don't understand.  A good friend will listen, nod their head, and give you a hug.  Then, they are going to support you by being encouraging you BUT ALSO being a truth teller.  That last part is tough.  If this is the 1,000th time you've complained, they are going to tell you that.  My very closest friends, not only know me, love me, support me, but they tell me if I'm being a little crazy, or, maybe just some constructive criticism, or, concrete advice on what to do.  Hey, if you're dishing it out, you have to ask yourself 'what's the point of this conversation?'  If the point is to be coddled, go talk to your dog.  My dog has the most adorable face, and he'll let me hug on him all day long, but he's not too great at giving advice.  If you want truth spoken into your life, talk to someone who is a legit friend.  You know who they are.

4. Do Something FUN:  Seriously, give yourself permission to relax!  Take a bath and read Harry Potter...or...whatever.  Think about something that you haven't done in a while that you enjoy and go do it!  Be sure it's not something that will make you feel worse, or, cause more anxiety....like spending money you don't have, or eating an entire pizza.  Do things that genuinely make you feel good.  A few of my favorites are: watching a comedy, going to the mall (that place is so relaxing to me, and I don't even buy a thing!), sitting in a coffee shop reading a book, laughing hysterically with a friend, pedicures, massages, I could keep going but you get the idea!

5. Pray: I saved the best for last.  There is no explaining the power of prayer.  God just has a way of taking care of us.  In 1 Peter 5:7 it says 'cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.'  Well, if that isn't an invitation to vent and get it out, I don't know what is.  God WANTS us to tell him what's bothering us, what's on our hearts and in our minds.  I mean, he already knows, but he knows that it helps US to tell him.  He's pretty smart that way.  And quite honestly, although this is the most important and most helpful, I often forget about it.  But for your sake, please don't.  He loves you.  He wants the best for you.  He doesn't want us riddled with impatience, worry, anxiety, whatever you want to call it.  He wants our light to shine!  So, let him do the worrying, you keep on shining my friend <3


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