Wednesday, March 4, 2015

IVF: Seeing the Invisible

I don't consider myself to be ultra sensitive as I've gone through the IVF process, however, there are little random things that will just 'get me'.

Today, I had a sonogram, due to some issues that the IVF clinic was concerned about, and wanted to be sure that I was ready to begin my second cycle in just a few weeks.  I'd had this procedure done before, but this time, they actually gave me the famous picture that most future moms get really excited about.

But, mine was empty.

It was the first thing I thought when she gave it to me.  And, obviously, she meant nothing by it at all, just thought I would like to have it.  When she left the room so I could get dressed, I just sat there for a minute, and cried.

It was hard looking at that empty picture.  I almost threw it away.  But, then I thought, what a great picture of hope it would be, when that picture has our sweet little babe in it.

Hope isn't something that necessarily makes us happy all the time.  It's something that we are typically hanging onto.  If there is anything that the first cycle taught me, it's that I have to have hope.  Because, so much is out of my hands...like, all of it is.  So, you hope.

If you are going through a tough situation, or, you're like me, and going through IVF, you don't always have to have a smile on your face, but, I do challenge you to have hope.  Not that pie in the sky hope, but a hope that is deep.  That is grounded in your heart, and in your mind.  It will get you through the toughest of situations, and you will be better on the other side of it.

You have to see the invisible.  Be brave through the uncertainty.  And give yourself grace when things 'get you'.




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