Monday, February 8, 2016

Why You Should ALWAYS Shave Your Legs: A Military Wife Life Lesson on Self-Care

This is a story that has been rolling around in my mind for months now, and I wanted to get it down on 'paper' so to speak.  Someday, this story will be in a book, so you're lucky, because you're getting a sneak peek.  So feel lucky as you read this ridiculousness that's about to unfold.

When my husband first joined the military I said to myself 'I can do this!' 'I can be strong!'  Naturally, to prove this to myself, I signed up for a marathon.  

He left in September for bootcamp.
I ran the marathon in October.


I stopped doing EVERYTHING.  That's what happened.  Before I knew what was happening, I was slipping into a lot of self-defeating behaviors, and becoming pretty depressed.  I just missed him so much, and everything was now up to me. 

The House.
Continuing to Work.
Acting HAPPY even though I was crying myself to sleep at night in an empty bed.

Sometimes you will hear people say 'well, you signed up for that, it's your choice, DEAL with it.'

That's 100% true.

But no matter how strong you THINK you are before you do something like that, nothing, and I mean NOTHING prepares you for what that life is truly like.

Needless to say.  I was struggling, and I made some really ridiculous decisions.

One of them being...I stopped shaving my legs.  Yep.  I'd had it.  My thought was, 'I'm not seeing him anyway, so WHO CARES?!'  

Well, apparently, my legs did.

My husband was finally coming home for a weekend, and so naturally, I raked my way through that forest of not shaving my legs for A MONTH.  


I noticed a small red bump on my leg.  Initially, I just thought, 'oh maybe it's a zit'.  Kinda gross, but hey, those things happen.

The NEXT day, I noticed that this bump kind of hurt, and was getting larger.  I started to get concerned, but STILL thought 'maybe it will go away'.

Ha.  Hahahahahahahahhahaha.

My husband came home and I said to him 'I don't know what to do!'  Well, neither did he, but I felt slightly satisfied that someone else knew my plight.

I then called my cousin, who is a nurse.  If you are a medical professional, you know about these calls from your family.  I took a picture, sent it to her, and she told me it could be a lot of things, but that I should probably go to a doctor.


That night, I woke up because my leg was in so much pain from this horrible thing.  I found the nearest emergency clinic and got there right away, with my husband driving me.  Once we were called in, I got this old school doctor who said 'Welp, it looks like this thing started as an in-grown hair and now you've got yourself a boil, I'm gonna have to lance it.'

So, as my fingers gripped the table, this doctor lanced my disgusting boil.  Because I didn't shave my legs for a month.

Such a romantic weekend, right?  But oh story does not end there.  That actually wouldn't be a bad story.

The doctor gave me an antibiotic, called Sulfa, and so I took it to a 't'.  I was 'lucky enough' that my husband was actually able to come home the following weekend.  I was so ecstatic!  And, I was nearly done with my antibiotic, woohoo!  My boil days were fading behind me.

Except they weren't.

On Friday night, we went to a movie, and when I went to take a shower, I noticed my skin was ALL RED where my shirt had been.  I said 'Jordan!  Do you see this?  This is weird, right?!'  His response was 'yeah, maybe take a shower and it'll go away?'  ***Side note: Showers don't get rid of rashes.

Later that night, I looked down at my legs, and again, I said, 'Jordan!  I think it's spreading to my legs, it wasn't on my legs before and now it's there!'.  His response: 'Uhhh....I think it was there before.'  ***Side note: It wasn't.  ***Another side note: I think he was sick of coming home to a wife that either had boils or rashes, so I don't totally blame him.

In general I had a bad feeling about this, so I took some Benadryl and went to sleep.  I woke up in the middle of the night AGAIN, itching everywhere.  I ran downstairs to our bathroom, flipped the light on....and screamed.  I legit screamed.

My face looked like a TOMATO.

I have fair skin.  So, I've had my share of sun burns.  But this was SO BEYOND that.  You could look at me and know something was wrong.  I left a panicked message for my old school doctor, and he called me right away.  He said 'is your throat closing up?'  In a panicked voice I said 'No, is it going to?!'  He chuckled, and said 'welp, if it hasn't yet then it won't, but now you know you're allergic to Sulfa, so throw it away!'  Thanks dude.

I had to wait out my tomato face....and tomato arms....and tomato everything.

To this day, Jordan calls me his 'little tomato'.  It's sort of

In the moment, I was horrified.  How could this happen to me?  Oh.  Now I remember.  

Because I didn't shave my legs.

Now.  I do things for ME.  

It doesn't matter if he's home or not.  Those legs are getting shaved.  

It doesn't matter if he's home.  I still get my hair done.

It doesn't matter if he's home: I still eat healthy and exercise.

It doesn't matter if hes home: I still make plans to see friends and don't isolate in my house.

It doesn't matter if he's home: I can't live my life THROUGH HIM.

This story is completely and totally ridiculous.  I get that.  But I hope you know....that you need to do things for you.  Everyone's got their things...and I don't think everyday needs to be a spa day.  But I'm talking about taking care of you.  Whatever that looks like.  Do it.  For you.  Not for others.

Otherwise, you might just end up with a tomato face.  Kidding....but not really. ;)



  1. You really do make me laugh. I wish I knew that I should do things for myself when I was younger. You don't have to tell me twice now that I am old. :)

  2. Holy Mother of Funny! It's so good you could turn that into a positive life lesson and a sort of sermon at the same time. Hugs!

    1. Haha, well, it took me a while, but I figured out what I could learn from it...and laugh at myself in the process...that's usually how that goes ;)

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