Thursday, October 13, 2016

My Birth Story & Why the Reset is so Important to Me.

I'm going to put myself out there tonight.  I hope that there's a mom reading this who gets it.  I've hesitated to share my birth story because I truly didn't have a great view of it for a long time and I didn't know how to share about it without sounding: 

a. complaining and whining
b. a total head case
c. ungrateful

As many of you know from my previous blog posts, we were able to have our son because of the complete miracle of IVF.  My husband and I can in no way have children the 'natural' way.  If we were a couple about 30 years ago, adoption or, not having any children would have been our two choices. 

However, through surgeries and procedures for both of us, we now have our beautiful, BEAUTIFUL son.

When we found out that we were pregnant, I was so happy, so excited, and know I actually started having the symptoms of pregnancy. 

I 100% understood the miracle of my baby.

But that was rough.  For a number of reasons that I won't go into because of reason a. that I mentioned earlier.

Then, he was LATE....I was 41 weeks and nothing...nada...zilch.  Not dilated, occasional Braxton Hicks...but nothing that told me this was the real deal.  So, we chose to induce.

Looking back on it now, my only other recourse was to wait an additional week, but, I was very nervous about that as there are additional issues if you wait too, we chose induction.

I went to the hospital that morning starting at 0.

And...that's kind of how the next 25ish hours went, ha.

Every three hours the doctor would come in and say, ''re at TWO now.'  'Now you're at a THREE' get the idea.

At 25 hours, I was at NINE.  And that little nugget chose to turn his head making delivery pretty rough.  My doctor, who is very anti-csection said 'I think we should do a C-section.'

I cried.

I was tired.
I felt defeated.

But I knew he was right.

After a brief talk with my husband, I said to him, completely sobbing, 'do you think I'm giving up if I do this?'

He said very emphatically 'No!'  (I just love him so much).

So, I had my c-section, and if you've had one, you know what that's like, and you know what the recovery is like.

Because I had been hooked up to i.v.s for SO long, I actually left the hospital heavier than when I went in....and you know...I'd had an 8 pound baby, so that wasn't a super stellar feeling.

After a woman gives birth (or atleast this woman) you feel really, really gross...and you're in so much pain, and you just feel like an enormous mess.  I was also SO happy...I would look at our son and just cry because I was so amazed at the miracle of his presence.  He is a blessing for us in so many ways.

That first week home I lost 25 pounds of straight up gross, right?! 

I went from barely being able to wear my slippers to finally being able to slip on some flip flops.  The swelling was so crazy.  But, I kept seeing progress.  And honestly, I didn't really sweat it after that.

I know that some people want to 'bounce right back', and that's fine, but, I just didn't really care.  The swelling had gone away, and I was listening to my body....which was still in so much pain from the surgery (because that's what a C-section is by the way...a MAJOR surgery...sometimes that's forgotten), and...I just wanted to snuggle with my son and sort out how to be a mom.

It's just such a vulnerable time, in my opinion....for me it was.

But each week I felt better and better.  I could get around a little better, I was able to stop taking pain medication, I was definitely improving, and I was SO excited to start working out.

At six weeks I got the okay, but I still waited on exercise another two weeks because we were headed home to Michigan for a bit and I wanted to be able to go all in.

So at eight weeks I started, and oh MAN it felt so good to MOVE, to get some sweat on my forehead, to feel out of just felt good.

But I still LOVED my donuts...and my lattes...and my pasta....oh the pasta!

I tried...but I was failing miserably with my food.  Which meant I was seeing absolutely no progress with my workouts.  It was really discouraging and made me feel even worse.  So I just kept eating horribly...because that makes total sense, right?

But then I went to an AMAZING leadership retreat, and there were a few girls there that had done the Ultimate Reset, and a few MORE girls who were about to start it.  And I knew it was what I needed to do.

This program has terrified me for a LONG time...but I knew I needed to snap out of it, be successful, and go ALL IN with my food...which meant for me...doing something that I had never done.

A 21 Day Cleanse/Detox/Renewal...take your pick of the right adjective.

It's important to me to be successful because I have been tired....I have not felt my best in many, many ways, and having my son has made me realize I've got to bring my A game day in and day out.

And honestly, I really just needed a 'win'. 

Ever felt like that?

It sucks...but it makes you determined.

So...this is me...on day 4, telling all of you that I will be here in 17 more days to share my results.

This post is lengthy, but if you've stuck with me until the end, please know that if I can do this, you absolutely can too.  My diet five days ago was RIDDLED with sugar, and so many horrible choices.  But you've got to start, and you've got to tell yourself, 'Enough is ENOUGH already'. 

You in?  Let me know, and I can help.

Thanks for reading, friends. 


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